I’ve lost something that was quite precious.
And no it’s not my marbles, or my virginity.
Although I did sometimes dream about life as Our Lady, but the Immaculate Conception just passed me by. I still fantasise about becoming a nun though.
I think it’s the wimple.
Would a wimple disguise my wattle?
So what I must find are Jamambuxes.
Jamambuxes are Japanese soldiers of the round valleys, as opposed to the square valleys, and employed by people for the discovery of articles lost or stolen. They scourge themselves severely, and sometimes refrain from sleeping for several days, in order to obtain the odour of sanctity.
All rather extreme, but this is a particularly expensive/lovely/sentimental item reported missing in action.
And why does not sleeping for several days induce a whiff of sanctity?
Next time I pass the homeless man with the ginger beard who squats outside the newsagents, I won’t think – eeeuuwh – God he stinks.
No, I’ll think – aaaaah – that is the odour of sanctity.