Blubber Busters

Desperate Times:

Drastic Measures.

For God’s sake, I’ve got a wedding to go to.

So back to Blubber Busters. All very dull and drab, but the blushing bride cannot rush her fiance up the aisle with bingo wings and muffin tops.

NO. NO. NO.

Blubber Busters (real name withheld to protect identity..) is a Woman Only Gym. Is that allowed? I’m sure there must be some European Legislation opposing such blatant sexism. At the top of the iron fire escape, painted primrose yellow, there is a door marked:

Women only – if you’re Male, please KNOCK.

This reminds me of a world famous Golf Club in Liverpool, where decades ago, my first husband was a member. One Sunday afternoon, the long suffering wife of a fellow member had grown thoroughly fed up feeding his dinner to the cat, and in a fit of pique marched up to the Clubhouse and hammered on the window of the Gentleman’s Lounge where her unsuspecting husband sat snoozing in front of the fire.

The next week the window had been bricked up.

In the Blubber Busters gym MEN are persona non grata.

As are MIRRORS and MAKEUP.