Posted by: okathleen | March 28, 2009

Don’t Panic




My dissertation begins with a vengeance, although with a vengeance is a common cliche, and we all know what we think about those. So my dissertation begins with me moving from a delicate trot into a terrified gallop. Yesterday, I met a fellow student who kindly informed me that she was now addicted to the library, and had found a little corner where she sits writing all day. Yikes.

I have peaked too early. As though running a marathon and being in the lead for twenty five miles, the will to live/win evaporates with the energy expended in trying to keep up the pace. It’s exhausting, and yesterday, occurred an incident that was an terrifying reminder in how not to do it.

I had completed my assignment about The Myth of The Rural Idyll, and decided to show Eli, as he featured in a segment of the writing. The deadline for the hand in was 4pm, after which the shiny blue bin into which all work is posted is locked and sealed, and tough shit if you miss the bus, oversleep, or your dvd becomes stuck in your laptop!!!!!

The panic, oh, the headless chickenness of it all (cliche), just press eject, press eject, let me have a look, I’ll do it, well what do you usually do, eject you bastard. OK, don’t eject, what to do, shall I post my laptop into the shiny blue bin? Email the work? Get some pliers and attack the new Macbook? 

Instead my hero set off cross country to find a usb memory stick, not in the Village Post Office, not in the nearest town, technophobes the lot of them, but miles away to a Retail Park where the only memory stick available was one at £29.00. I am still hyperventilating, and if you saw a silver Mini overtake you at 130mph yesterday at 3.41 near Didsbury, sorry, it was me.









  1. I’d say you could have proved your thesis eloquently just by a note describing those events, along the lines of the famous Oxford undergraduate who in answer to the philosophy exam question :
    ‘Is this a question?’ wrote
    ‘If, and only if, this is an answer.’
    and passed…..

  2. Thought i d have a read as Lucky loom is a friend and has said how your writing sometimes makes her chuckle, and indeed it did, particularly the very visual image of the silver mini racing through Didsbury (where i used to live) to save the day. The piece about Mother’s Day and the Prodigal son also resonated with me. Thanks, you have made me smile on this Sunday morning after having lost an hours sleep…car there’s a thing. Good luck with the dissertation.

    • Trish, thank you for your comments, my little mini is still recovering from the trauma! And I need all the luck you can muster…

      Betty, I am yet to plead extenuating circumstances, although I think one young lady on our degree has attended four funerals, all for her Gran…
      As to the Oxford scenario, I quite like the Prof who asked an unsuspecting victim to throw a brick; sitting on his desk, through the study window. Eager to oblige, the interviewee picked up the brick and hurled it through the window, shards of glass flew everywhere. ‘MMM’, ponders the Prof, ‘I’d have liked you to have opened the window first…’

  3. The student was right: if it had been open he would have been throwing it out of the window, not through it: which just shows how important it is to proceed from agreed premises. Obviously not a philosophy professor.

    • Betty; I think it was for PPE, but what an expensive way to prove a point?
      My interview for uni was a check to confirm whether I had a pulse. Mature students are scraped off the pavement apparently?

      Arialhollyberry; I think you’re right, dogs are for life, not just for Easter. Perhaps I should just borrow Florrie from time to time..

      Pamela; I agree, there are enough high maintenance characters in this house, not sure there’s room for another one!

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