Off I popped to the ‘pool.
To be induced. Induction Day at the Department of Philosophy, I think therefore I signed up. What’s a few more thousands of ££££’s between fellows. But first, I had to park my car. Running late, and no one wants to be late on their first day at school, holding at bay a slight panic attack, I selected a car park close to the venue:
I nudged my car towards the barrier and pressed the ‘press here’ button.
Nothing happened. Hmm, press ‘Help’. ‘Help’ said the car park was only for visitors after 5.30, staff only before then.
Behind me three cars stacked up. I leant out of the window and made that embarrassed gesture which says – ever so sorry but I need to back up and would you mind reversing a little…
In the car behind, a woman wound down her window, leant out, and screeched in her best Scouse:
“You stupid fucking blonde bimbo if you think I’m taking my life in my hands and reversing onto the fucking main road you’ve got another fucking think coming.”
I wondered where in the University she worked…